Monday, February 16, 2015

Space Invaders

Apparently there’s a Space Invaders movie in the works.

Reminds me of this bad, tongue-in-cheek exposition I had cut out of Gladiator Girl:

The highlight of the afternoon team practice was Space Invaders, an exercise that grinds hard on the guardians. It was named after an old silent movie. In the movie a lone hero discovers plans for an invasion of Earth to be launched from the Moon. He tries to warn the world, but he is not taken seriously. In desperation he builds a mobile super gun. When the invasion comes, the leaders of the Earth's nations beg the man to protect them. He could deny their entreaties and escape--he built a rocket ship as a side project while building the gun--after all, they refused to believe him when there was time to build a thousand super guns. What did he owe these fools? But a little girl holds her puppy up to him and asks him to save it along with himself. The man realizes he cannot give up on humanity. He takes the controls of his gun and fights the invading ships, but for every ship he shoots down two more appear. As the screen fades to black and the words "THE END" fade up, the hero is fighting an ever increasing invasion force. We never know if he saves the Earth. The important thing is that he tried.

In the Blood Battle version of Space Invaders, The team and guardians put on full body padded suits. They arm themselves with practice sticks. The guardians take turns standing on the temple and defending a straw goddess. The team attempts to score points by striking the target on the back of the straw goddesses neck. The team attacks in increasingly large waves until they score six strikes on the goddess. The guardians always, eventually lose. The important thing is how long they can hold out.

I imagined the movie as a silent short looking like Georges Méliès’s A Trip to the Moon.